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I had months to get used to the idea that Marshall would be much much bigger than his brother at birth. I watched as my stomach swelled large enough for my innie to become an outtie. I felt and saw his size as he wiggled about. I knew the estimates for his weight were increasing during each successive ultrasound. Increasing so much, in fact, that we thought he was going to be a pretty chubby baby at birth.

Yet, nothing really prepared me for how I felt when I realized just how much bigger Marshall was than Lewy. Of course the sensation of birthing him was different. And he was much heavier in my arms. But it wasn’t those moments that got me. It was when I saw Marshall’s footprints. That’s when it really hit me. That’s when I let myself be heartbroken for just a moment on that fantastically happy day.