Marshall’s only surviving great grandmother has been quite ill and is currently hospitalized and facing major heart surgery tomorrow. Marshall and I travelled to see her at the beginning of this week. A five hour drive each way and two nights in a hotel and the whole time missing Marshall’s daddy like crazy. But we did it! We survived. It was a bit stressful, but I also felt quite accomplished by the time we made it back home.
And it was so so so good to get to visit with Granny and also to see Marshall showered with so much love from so many family members. We played “pass the baby” a few times, and I learned something. A couple somethings.
First, I do not like being separated from my baby! Yes, I was happy to give my arms a break, and yes, I want Marshall to get used to other faces and voices. But I couldn’t stop staring at him when others were holding him! And I couldn’t fully focus on the conversations I was having because I was so distracted with watching him. I suppose I already sort of knew this about myself. Anytime I am away from the house for a little while and Marshall is with Jon I feel a little anxious until I can make my way back. It’s nice to get away for a little me-time now and again, but I don’t like staying away for very long. It just feels weird and like something is missing. I need to be with my baby.
Also, I learned that Marshall knows me! When I am home alone with him, it seems like there’s some recognition. But perhaps he’d make those faces and noises at anyone. You never know until you test him. He was interested in seeing everyone else, but no one could hold his attention or elicit the smiling and cooing quite like his momma. In fact, he even said “momma” while we were at the hospital! Of course, he didn’t really say it. But he made a noise with his mouth that sounded a lot like it. Just the idea of hearing him calling my name some day is enough to melt my heart.